The Trouble with Ebay

I am sure you all can imagine the metaphoric image of a 1950s style robot with an eBay logo riveted to its abdominal compartment saying, in a thin metallic approximation of a human voice, "I am sorry...you had to bid $25 dollars more to live."  Although the metaphor I am using might seem a bit dramatic, it is not unreasonable metaphor.  I will admit comparing eBay with a shiny 50's style robot with rivets a bit whimsical.  I am also quite convinced that the robot is more human and lovable than the actual thing that Ebay has become.  The question is, at what point does the thrill of the deal become a challenge to one's ethics, or in cases where theft is improbable, their sense of self preservation?  I use the term self preservation because a recent bike that I had come through for service was an example of an eBay deal that was without a doubt, life threatening!

"That's right everyone your addiction to eBay can kill you!"

This bike came through that had with it a pedigree much like they all seem to.  It was apparently lightly ridden, it was in great condition, it was a great deal, etc...  It also came with one very serious...sorry not strong enough, possibly life threatening flaw.  It had what is called a star-nut pressed into the steer-tube of the fork.  This is a completely innocuous thing and to some of you who have had some experience tinkering with your own bikes, it may sound a rather flat issue.  This would undoubtedly be true if it weren't for the fact that what should have been in this steer tube is a compression plug.  You see the steer tube on this bike was made of carbon fiber, and among so many warnings that generally accompany such forks the instructions clearly state that a professional should install it; and that improper installation can result in among other things, death.  The instructions always say something to the affect that the fork must be assembled by means of a compression plug and that a star nut must never be used ¹.  I think now would be a good time to explain what the difference between these two devices is.  

A compression / expansion plug is a device that when tightened, it either constricts around the outside of the steer tube, or expands to press against the inside of the steer-tube.  In doing so, the plug is wedged securely in place and can then be used as a means of attachment, and adjustment for the bike's head bearings.  A compression plug will provide even pressure to the entire inside of the steer tube and in some case can add strength to the overall assembly.  The important thing to note is that it in no way compromises the strength of the fork.  

A star nut on the other hand, is a nut with various layers of inverted fangles that once inserted into the fork mechanically deform the steer tube.  This deformation resists strongly any backward movement due to it digging itself back into the inner walls of the forks steer tube as it is pulled out.  In fact, the only way to remove them is to in effect take out a layer of material from the forks steer tube itself.  This lends itself well to aluminum steer tubes which are relatively tolerant of fatigue due to scoring, but not so with carbon fiber.  With carbon fiber, the integrity of the fork is completely compromised, hence the warning not to use star nuts in such applications.   

So if you are really heavy into catastrophic failure of your bike and or components, then this is certainly the way you want to go.  If you live for the crash and just love being laid up in a body cast or being paralyzed, or maybe you really love the image your own eulogy being read (do you really think you will be eulogized by anyone who could do you justice?),  then this is your deal.  eBay bikes like bikes from all illegitimate sources do certainly posses a greater ability to maim you than any other bikes on the planet.  The thing that really gets me about it though is that when put in perspective, people that like to buy ebay bikes place the value of their own lives so low.  I mean really, is your life worth $1000?  How about $500?

the monetary value of the peoples lives that bought these was in the tens of dollars.

I know plenty of people who decided to buy a bike for such a small difference in price savings.  It gets even worse.  A couple of years back, there was a slough of Time pedals going up for sale on eBay that had a severe defect.  The pedals were about half of the wholesale price.  This was all due to a recall, and the pedals were being sold by people (mostly bike shops)  that were too lazy to send them back in for service.  Instead, they unloaded them on eBay to unsuspecting buyers, and if you hadn't guessed, they neglected in the vast majority of cases to disclose the defect.  In this case, people were risking their lives buying a defective product  for tens of dollars in savings over the non defective ones.  Big spenders right?  Yeah real good deal for them.  Although this does tend to cull the heard a bit, it is behavior that is best avoided if longevity is the goal.

There are a thousand reasons why eBay purchases could kill you, but none of these really matter specifically. Is it not enough just to know that these situations exist to make purchasing from eBay an unreasonable risk?  The guy in Cleveland that is selling you the bike that he stole from breaking into a car last week; or the guy who crashed during the local Criterium and spent all week disguising the damage to his frame so you would bid for it gives fuck all for the person who buys it, as long as he gets paid.  As American as that is, it is not, I am sure an incentive for you to be a party to the transaction.  At least, you can depend in most cases, on the local bike shop having a vested interest in keeping you alive. 

What if I told you that I had 100 bicycles or bike-related products and at least 5 had serious problems that could easily cause your death, and you could have the choice of one for free, would you take one?  Is  this deal really worth the risk?  Was your answer "yes" or "no way"? Now imagine that they are not free but in fact you had to bid for them against thousands of other people for the right to die on / with one of these products.  Yeah, you got it, that is eBay, and you are currently highest bidder.  

  ^1.  Although this is mostly true there is one exception:  Cannondale has designed some of their carbon forks to accommodate a star nut installation by incorporating a sacrificial layer inside of their forks steer tubes.  Where by, the inner layer of  the fork is completely non structural and soley to be destroyed by the starnut installation.  This is effective in its task of securing the starnut, however it could be argued that it might compromise the integrity of the fork if it is improperly installed or in the event of over tightening the stem clamp bolts.  It is interesting to note that since Cannondale has been doing this many of the pro teams will not ride their premium forks, they will instead opt for an Easton or other manufacturer's forks repainted to match the bikes.